You must have previously perceived gaslighting. But what is it exactly? How do I know if I am being deceived? Gaslighting in a relationship is being orchestrated by your loved one. Where their words or actions influence your beliefs. You might have seen Criminal Justice Season 2 it is a good paragon to understand gaslighting.

It’s not a pleasing relationship environment. Phrases such as “You always do so”, “Your good for nothing”, and “Sure about that?” create self-doubt and you start second-guessing yourself, lowering your self-esteem.

What Is Gaslighting In Relationships?

To trick or control someone by making them believe that their memories or beliefs about something are wrong, especially by suggesting that they may be mentally ill. It is a very noxious behavior.

Gaslighting in relationships can be of various forms from Redirection, Undermining, Countering, Denial, and Resurging history. It can be intentional or unintentional, subtle or harsh. It’s a form of emotional abuse. Which could even cause anxiety or depression.

Warning Signs (Red Flags) Of Gaslighting

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1. Use of “Love” as a Defense

Love could be used to gaslight someone subtly by love bombing. Manipulators will throw statements like “If you loved me, you would…”. Also guilting with love is used as a defence mechanism. Shooting I love you randomly after manipulating is also a big red flag. It’s essential to be aware of these manipulative tactics and not confuse them with genuine expressions of love and care in a healthy relationship.

2. Denying Wrongdoing

Denial involves a person refusing to take responsibility for their actions. Having a mentality of ‘I am always right’ or ‘I could never be wrong’ are sign of denial. To be alert and aware of such actions is a way to avoid them. Acceptance of our faults can only help us improve.

3. Discrediting You

Not giving enough credit for your efforts. Not praising you for dressing up, planning a surprise or even just taking your time and preparing something for them but rather finding opportunities to discredit you is a way for gaslighting in a relationship.

4. Accusations of Paranoia

When a gaslighter is not taking responsibility for their action but rather doubting their partner, accusing them of something they possibly could not do are sign they are making accusations of paranoia. A gaslighter would always look at their partner suspiciously.

5. Distracting You

Always seeking your attention. Distracting you from all the other important things as they want you to only focus on them. Gaslighters can be possessive. It is a very psychological behavior.

6. Constant Criticism or Disparagement

Mocking their partners in front of others to lower their self-esteem in front of others just to feel superior. Criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint. These are the ways of how our loved one could gaslight us in a relationship.

7. Rewriting History

Repeating the same past mistakes again and again other than working on it, showing a lack of progress as a partner. Moving in circles and rewriting history is a clear red flag one should avoid.