Masturbation Will Improve Your Partnered Sexual ActivityYour partner isn’t a mind reader. If you don’t speak up that you like this but not that, they’ll never know and will keep on doing what they are doing. The more aware you are of what works for your body, the more you can communicate that to your partner in gentle, specific ways: “I like it better when you touch me there gently, not hard over there,” instead of “Don’t do that.” The first approach shows that you are into it and willing to experiment; the second potentially could turn off your partner. Even better, you could masturbate with your partner. “Any time someone is able to gently guide someone, people will listen,” says Paget. “Guiding each other to your respective sensitive spots can be really hot and intimate. You can use their hands on you to show the motion and pressure you like, and they can do the same with you.”If a woman is uncomfortable masturbating, she may have trouble with partnered sex as well. If you think you need to see a sex therapist, check out the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists to find a certified professional near you.Masturbation 101: Tips for BeginnersIf you still can’t get past the notion that masturbation is dirty and obscene, you can learn to quell the noise. Paget says, “Your body is your body. No one else should control your sexuality. Tell yourself that this is healthy for you, and your body is a thing of beauty, not shame.”Start off slowly if you have to; you don’t have to do everything at once. If you’re shy, cover yourself with a blanket. Get comfortable just touching yourself lightly and follow a sexy fantasy. Or just squeeze your thighs together in a rhythmic motion. Give yourself a chance to explore what works for you. Here are a few tips to get you started:Stimulate your clitoris using a finger or an object to gently stroke the clitoris.Insert your fingers or sex toys into your vagina.Accept your fantasies. They’re yours; you don’t have to tell anyone.Whatever type of erotica works for you, go for it. As Paget says, your largest sexual organ is your brain, so get it involved.Get some helpers: a vibrator, lubricant, ben wa balls, whatever knocks your socks off. (There are discreet online and brick-and-mortar shops for women. If you don’t want to leave a computer history, change your browser setting to private.)Take a shower. “It’s where most people find out what they like. They are alone, naked, and touching their body. And for women with children, it is sometimes the only place they can be alone without being interrupted,” says Paget.Practice good hygiene to avoid getting urinary tract infections. Anytime you are doing anything to your genitals, wash your hands before and afterward. Clean sex toys after using them, and this is one time when you should never share your toys. Anything that goes anally never goes vaginally.Ready to go check your undercarriage now? Go ahead, you’ll feel better if you do!